SWE3

I'll say this about "Revenge of the Sith":

Who are the good guys?

Asterisks in the yesterday’s blog question answer

I added asterisks in the previous question answer, because they refer to interesting fun facts that are too tangential for that particular, yet highly individual, post.

The single asterisk, a.k.a. *, is because MS Word was trying to change my grammar to "Since you didn’t, neither will me." That would sound stupid, and as we all now; I am rarely, if ever, stupid.

The double asterisk, something I personally like to call **, refers to an as yet unposted post that I will post later.

Not now. Later. Be patient. It’s not like this blog is my entire life, ya know. Ungrateful grot.

So there you are now have it and good.

The Doctor is out.

Just kidding. I’m in.

Now I’m out.

I’ve Come to Save the World from Blog Block

I’ve created a blog, and now I don’t know what to write. Can you help me, The Sweet, Pretty The El Guapo?

Love,
Sweet, new blogger person.

I can help you Sweet, new blogger person. For a successful blog, you have to keep your readers in mind. You have to give the readers what they want. “What,” you ask, “do readers want?” Well, I might ask you the same question. Since you didn’t, neither will I*. I will answer it though.

Readers want something to read. That means you gotta give them something to read. That’s what I do every day of Mildred**, except for two. I give the reader something to read. Sometimes I give the reader nothing to read, but at least that’s something.

When I created my blog, I wondered when I would run out of stuff to say, and that was pretty much all I had to say. So I did. Then, I created a Word file in which I write every single stupid blog topic idea that comes into The El Guapo’s brain and mine. When I get a chance, I go through it and expand upon the one ones that I can. When I say “expand,” I don’t mean a kitty. I like kitty humor. Not as much as monkey humor though. Monkey humor is the absolute best humor imaginable. Almost.

But I digest. Do you? Then I started adding theme topics, so that I can kinda repeat the same crap over and over and over. Should I say “and over” again? I think not.

And over. I did it anyway. Take that, Evil doer.

Now I have written more stuff than I can write. I have an endless supply of material for readers (or non-readers) to read (or not read) for the next week or so, as long as we all realize it won’t go over a couple minutes. That, my dear human/nonhuman, is what readers like and dislike most about reading and/or not reading.

I hope this answers your question. If not, rephrase the question in a way that it is answered by my response. Otherwise it may be a stupid question or just an incorrect question.

Kenny Chesney?

So what have the rest of the Village People been doing since Kenny Chesney went solo?

Monthly or so Buddha

Never give up
No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country is spent
Developing the mind instead of the heart.
Be compassionate not just to your friends but to everyone
Be compassionate.
Work for peace in your heart and in the world.
Work for peace and I say again
Never give up.
No matter what is happening,
No matter what is going on around you,
Never give up.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Why can't beach be all the time?

We're back from vacation. A week on Mustang Island and Padre Island. Every time I come back from the beach I like the not beach less. I like not beach less than Less itself. I may even like it less than the mysterious Almighty Least.

If I cared about my crazy grammar, I would apologize. I like it.

I just love the water, waves, fish, boats, tourists, bums, sun, salt, seaweed, jellyfish, wind, all of it. Tourists in Ft. Worth, Dallas and in Colorado get on my nerves, but tourists at the beach are all right. Maybe I still am considered a tourist in Colorado or Port Aransas, although I don’t think I should be.

Anywho, I don’t want to be here, so that’s all I got.

Addendum to Sith Question Answer

To make this very difficult addendum easier for you, I have broken it up into very easy-to-follow steps. They are somewhat in numerical order, except the Steps 8, 1 and 9.

Step 13: First and foremost, read (yesterday's) post so you know what I'm talking about. Shouldn't one of us?

Step 8: In the answer to the previous (yesterday's) question contained in below (yesterday's) post, please ignore the quotation marks.

Step 9: After you have successfully ignored the quotation marks, proceed to (today's) Step 2.

Step 2: While looking very closely at the answer, ignore the letter N.

Step 3: Repeat step 2 until you are not really sure what you are doing, then proceed to Step 3.

Step 4. Ignore the period or the o. It is entirely up to you, as long as you know it is up to you.

Step 5. Ignore any part of the answer that remains, as of yet, unignored.

Step 6. Skip the previous two steps, if you did not see Step 6.

Step 1: After reading Step 1, proceed to Step 8, since Step 8 is really the first step.

Step 11: Thank yourself for being very good for me.

I’m Come to Save the World from Bad Sith

If you’re a bad Sith, does that mean you’re good?

Thank you,
Closet bad Sith

This is an excellent question that comes from a Jay and/or a Ray. Maybe both. If you don’t believe me then look deep, deep inside your left side and remember the answer you questioned.

First, since the Sith doesn’t really exist in what I like to call “here,” we’ll assume that question asking person is speaking metaphorically. Metaphorically speaking, since Sith’s don’t exist here, I will answer your question.

In order to accurately answer this question with the proper facts and/or my opinion, we must first agree on what I Sith is.

I, for one, don’t really know. I can’t really say that I care.

Now that we all know or don’t know what a Sith is, we must assume that we don’t know if being a bad Sith makes one good. Assuming, of course, we know what good is. This is sort of what I refer to as an “answer back/back answer question-the-answer question with or without an answer.” Ergo, not knowing this is why Jay or/and Ray—or both—asked his/her question. Double Ergo, the answer must be either forthcoming or next.

Let’s assume the answer is next. If so, then here it is:

“No.”

Ominous Signs at the yeah, yeah, yeah

I’ve come to save the you from yourself.

I’ve grown tired of trying to catch up on the Ominous Signs stuff, and this whole crumbling economy thing is really only funny to me. So here is the gist.

Start being more financially defensive. Save up some cash. Put away the credit cards, and don’t charge them up on this summer’s vacations. Pay off your high interest debt, because interest rates are going up soon. Way up. Learn what your means is and live within it.

Here is my opinion on time and money. The more you worry about it, the less you’ll have. Less is more. Les Moore lives in Austin, TX.

I think a line from Ziggy Marley’s “Dragonfly” is appropriate:

“everybody's worried about time
but i just keep that sh** off my mind
people living on twenty four hour clocks
but we're on a ride that never stops”

Love your love with all of your love.

What?

Life with Jay

Some VERY helpful words to help knowledge from my Durango Brother Jay.

Life with Jay

I've Come to Save the Annoying Friendship

How do I tell my annoying friend he's always wrong and does NOT have all the answers?

With love,

loving blanca

The next question is from a person(?) named blanca from who resides in beautiful Earth, The Universe.

Sco—I mean blanca, this is what you should do. You sit down with your annoying friend. Not too close though, you homo. It is important that you make sure you both have a beer, unless he doesn’t drink. In that case, you’ll have to have both beers.

Then you say this (and say this word for word):

“Shayne, I love you. You know the Earth and other worlds like no other human super. However, there is something I have to tell you. I hate you. You don’t know Ess ach eye double hockey sticks—I mean tea. When I said I love you just a moment ago, I was trying to make you laugh so that you won’t cry when you discover you are a moron. And annoying. And pretty ugly. But other than that, you can’t drive or sing. Just kidding. I love you.”

Try that, dear anonymous reader not named Frankie, Carl or Melissa. If that doesn’t work, try not being around when you friend isn’t looking. Or when he is looking. Either way you’ll get the job done.

Have you been to Seattle? I like it.

Stupid unbeach

We’re leaving for the beach Friday. Today is not Friday, and my cube is not the beach. At least there is no sand. Not much.

Someone should write a book—or at least a lengthy essay—on how times moves so slowly at work when you’re leaving for the beach in 4 days. Any volunteers? Jay?

I just had the worst lunch ever, and it is Doug’s fault.

I'm listening to Ray Wylie Hubbard in CASE you wanted to know..

Ominous Signs at the Periphery VIII

from April 19

Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack

Associated Press
New Home Construction Posts Big Decline
Tuesday April 19, 10:43 am ET
By Martin Crutsinger, AP Economics Writer
New Home Construction Posts Biggest Decline in 14 Years; Wholesale Inflation Shoots Up

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Inflation at the wholesale level, propelled by a surge in the price of gasoline and other energy products, shot up 0.7 percent in March while construction of new homes and apartments fell by 17.6 percent, the biggest decline in 14 years.

The Commerce Department reported Tuesday that builders started construction onnew homes and apartments at a seasonally adjusted annual rate of 1.84 million unitsin March, down from 2.23 million units in February.

While analysts had been expecting a decline in housing, the steepness of the drop,the biggest plunge since January 1991, caught them by surprise.

The Weekly Hangdog

something left to save
by The Hangdogs

Wind cuts a path through dust and heat
Sends papers flyin down a dirty old street
City's lit up like a Christmas tree
But you pay for the treasure lies underneath
Everything's got a price in this old burg
And when your credit runs out, you pay in hurt
And a soul only costs what a body's worth
And the next one's just as cheap

The street corner preacher says just have faith
Says Jesus comin back to take us home someday
But he's running short on time and something left to save

Twenty floors up in a new high-rise
They hate their boss, plot his demise
They play their stocks and their PR lies
And they sip their whiskey sours
Down here we buy what they say we need
Play the Quick Pick 5 and the OTB
If we could trade in our debt for our dignity
We'd take back what was always ours

It says somewhere we're all made equal
but leastways in this town, it don't stay that way
There's your color, there's your schooling
there's your savoir faire and who you know and your credit rate

Ominous Signs at the Periphery VII

From April 18

Will Greenspan bite the bullet and continue raising interest rates as we need? This will support the dollar, slow inflation, cause a recession, and increase the US internal savings rate. It needs to be done, but I don't know if he has the guts to do it. We need a recession fast, so we don't have a depression in a couple of years.
Stay tuned..d

Danielle DiMartino
Economic slowdown may be worse than a mere soft patch
11:00 PM CDT on Sunday, April 17, 2005

By DANIELLE DiMARTINO / The Dallas Morning News

So much for that post-election bounce.

Last week's stock losses all but wiped out the gains investors booked in the huge relief rally that followed the election.

For the year, the Dow and the S&P 500 are down by about 6 percent. Double those losses for the Nasdaq. Perhaps more troubling is that for the first time in three years, stocks lost ground in the face of falling interest rates and oil prices.

The message is clear: This time, the economic slowdown could be so severe that low interest rates won't bail the country out.

As Martin Barnes, economist at the Bank Credit Analyst research firm noted on Friday, "Ominously, the drop in oil prices and bond yields in the past week or so has not lifted equity prices."

His advice is to steer clear of equities for now because the Federal Reserve is not finished raising interest rates and the economy appears to be skidding into something more meaningful than a soft patch.

Friday's last three economic reports showed a dire tone:

•A New York gauge of manufacturing activity fell to a two-year low in April and new orders actually posted a decline.

•Factory output fell for the first time in six months in March, with auto manufacturing sliding by 3.6 percent, its most severe in more than four years.

•Consumer sentiment fell to a 19-month low on concerns about steep prices at the pump and a still-weak job market.

All of this piled onto a bad week. There was the biggest miss by the consensus on retail sales since last August. Excluding autos and gasoline, sales were negative. And the trade deficit came in at a record $61 billion.

The data hasn't improved since the month started with the news that March payrolls came in at half of what had been expected. By the time the month ends, most economists will have shaved a full percentage point off their estimates for first-quarter economic growth.

David Rosenberg, Merrill Lynch's chief economist, is one of many who by the end of the week were cutting estimates for economic growth and voicing concerns that we're headed for something deeper than last year's soft patch.

"Look out for the softest pace since the second quarter of 2004 on GDP growth," he said. "The grim reality is that the Fed viewed this as a pause back then and may well treat the current soft patch as little more than a minor bump in the road this time around as well," he added.

The market is broadcasting that we're on course to collide with something bigger than last year's speed bump.

How is it doing this? The benchmark 10-year Treasury fell last week to about 4.25 percent, retreating to where it started the year and wiping out the nasty episode that tacked on nearly a half-point to its yield on inflation concerns.

Yet stocks fell. For the last three years, it has gone like this: Falling interest rates equals cheap credit equals fresh support for consumer spending equals rising stock prices. But that wasn't what happened last week.

Interest rates fell, which means bond prices rose. And yet stock prices fell. There's one thing the stock market fears more than a Fed that keeps on raising rates, and that's a Fed that stops raising rates.

The only call to pause will be an economy that has slowed too much to handle the gentle pace of the rate-hiking campaign we've been on for the better part of the last year.

As tempting as it may be to pause, my hope is that the Fed holds its ground.

Leaving office in the shadow of a recession will make for a much nicer legacy for Alan Greenspan than steering the economy into a worse state of imbalance by making money cheaper yet again.

Further excesses will only set us up for a future that makes us wish for something as tame as a recession.

On Being So Much Real Bad Busy

I never knew being so busy could be such a good source of material. Sure it prevents me from posting all the blog topics I’ve been promising, but that is not the point.

If I keep writing about how busy I am, I’ll never finish the mountainous pile of tasks on which I claim to be busy. If I never finish the mountainous pile of tasks, I’ll always be too busy to write anything.

If I don’t stop writing, I’ll NEVER run out of anything to write!

Sooner or later, I will got my world-famous, unfinished stereotypes post. I will tell you the story of the crazy lady at work. I’ll answer some more Ask Shayne questions. I plan to work very hardly to get you the Daily Hangdog tomorrow though, because tomorrow is the most important tomorrow since yesterday, or maybe even day after tomorrow in different time zones. If you don’t believe me, just hang around until tomorrow.

Until tomorrow…

Or yesterday….

maybe sooner...

Stupid Liar

I lied yesterday. I have lots of stuff to say. I’m just too busy. I hate busy. Humans shouldn’t be busy. I’m in violation of The “Hey, Human. Don’t Be Busy Clause.”

If, necessity is the mother of invention, I need to invent a way to stop not being so unbusy all the time.

Ominous Signs at the Periphery VI

From April 15

The mosaic I've been painting is starting to become clearer as time goes on. Look for the FED to be forced to quit hiking rates causing the dollar to begin ANOTHER down draft along w/ the stock market. If the housing market FINALLY bursts, its all over. I'll keep you updated..D

N.Y. manufacturing hits 2-year low

New York Fed index tumbles in April; rising oil pushes import prices up at fastest rate in 2 years.
April 15, 2005: 9:45 AM EDT

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - An index of New York manufacturing conditions fell to a two-year low in April, while rising oil costs pushed U.S. import prices up at their fastest pace in more than two years.

The Federal Reserve Bank of New York said Friday the general business conditions index of its Empire Manufacturing Survey tumbled to 3.1 in April from a revised 20.2 in March, sharply below the consensus forecast of 19.

Treasury bond prices rose after the Fed survey, sending long-term bond yields lower, as investors bet the Fed will not need to speed up interest rate increases to head off inflation. The New York Fed is one the Fed's regional banks.

Separately, the Labor Department said U.S. import prices rose 1.8 percent in March, the biggest increase since January 2003.

Excluding a 10.6 percent jump in the cost of imported petroleum, import prices increased 0.3 percent.

Wall Street economists had expected import prices to rise 1.2 percent in March. Export prices rose 0.7 percent, more than double the expected 0.3 percent gain.

Over the past 12 months import prices have climbed a steep 7.1 percent, reflecting a 36.1 percent surge in the cost of petroleum that has stirred concerns over both inflation and a potential weakening in economic growth.

I Don't Know What to Say

So I won't.

Stupid Reviews

by request......exerpts from a novel I started writing a few years ago...

We have to write our own reviews at work. It’s this big spreadsheet formatted so that there is not room where you need it. It’s completely generic and has nothing to do with my job. There are slight changes every year. Some of them looked familiar though, so I checked back to the review of two years ago. They are identical, so I look back again. My employer rotates the same two every two years. We're all too dumb to notice, because we only do reviews once a year and we're generally busier than a one-armed octopus at broomstick convention.

It is not always easy being the smartest.

What next? Will we have to bitch at ourselves for being late?

A recession is approaching. Times are getting tough. We’re going to have to cut some expenses. I’m afraid I’m going to have to let me go. I’m very impressed with my review though. I’m a very valued employee who is just an unfortunate victim of rough economic times, so I am going to offer me a very generous severance package.

What’s that? I don’t accept it?

Fine then. Go to hell, Mr. Soupkitchen!!

Stupid Mug

I just spilled my coffee. That shouldn't be a problem with my big, fancy spill-proof mug.

We have a concept here at work. The crazy lady with the mivi-van probably uses it. It is W.A.D. Works as designed for those of you scoring along at home. .

I don't think my coffee mug falls under the realm of Wad. When it fell over, the lid popped off.
Nice.

Speaking of crazy ladies at work, I think I saw her husband yesterday. He looks like my friend’s dad. Rather, he looks like my friend’s dad looked when I last saw him twenty or so years ago. He worked for GM and was this big Union guy. He was “buy American” before “buy American” was cool.

I like Stupid. I’m going to start having more stupid posts.

Starting…right …. NOW!

Nah. Not just yet.

Evil Clock.

Don’t stare at the clock.

The crazy lady at work may or may not be staring at a clock in her office if she has one. I don't even know if she has an office. She does have a mini-van though. Somewhere, someone is needlessly avoiding stereo-types, because I haven’t finished my stereo-typing post.

That clock just stares back. Slacker. Questions of advice that I should answer sit unanswered in e-mail…In gmail. Dozens of invites unused.

The morning drags on like no other draggie thing has ever drug at it’s highest dragging potential. Signs of an economic collapse do nothing for me. Usually such a thing, especially during a Republican President’s term, would have me all giddy.

Eleven days until vacation. The beach. The salt water. Fishing. All implied therein.

That clock won’t move. How can I turn the calendar, if the clock won’t move?

What’s up with Idol? Fake? As if anyone who watches will care whether or not it is a fraud. All of commercial TV and radio is fraud. Maybe a (finally) new episode of “Lost” will help. I still don’t really care about the Mavericks. I hope the win..just not enough to watch it.

The Rangers have a day game Wednesday. That’ll get me through a couple hours. I quit looking at the beach cam. I thought it would help, but it only made things worse.

Work? Right. That’s right, boss. Nope.

Ok. If I work on adding some bad grammar to this post, maybe I won’t notice the 30 minutes between now and lunch.

Blanca!!!! BBQ….neeed bbq…

This post blows. There’s no way I’m publishing it.

Ominous Signs at the Periphery V

from April 14, 2005

Historically, April is one of the strongest months for the stock market for obvious reasons (IRAs, Bonus payouts, etc), but yet with so many cracks in the economy becoming more evident, even the trend traders have to bow to economic fundamentals. The summer is my best guess as to when the sh** really starts to hit the fan...Good luck...

General Motors (GM: news, chart, profile) was another notable decliner on the Dow, down 4.7% on concern discretionary spending on items such as cars would fall in lockstep with an economic slowdown.

Ahead of the bell, two economic reports allowed investors to take the pulse of the U.S economy.

First-time claims for state unemployment benefits fell by 10,000 to 330,000 in the week ended April 9, roughly in line with economist forecasts. See full story.

Meanwhile, U.S. businesses added 0.5% to their inventories in February while their sales fell 0.4%, the Commerce Department said. The drop in sales was the largest since April 2003.

The dollar gained against the yen after the International Monetary Fund drastically slashed its growth forecast for Japan. The euro got a cross-trading kick lower on the greenback's rise against the Japanese currency. See currencies.

Gold futures tumbled as the strength of the dollar sapped interest in the precious metal.

On the bond market, long-term U.S. Treasurys rallied on the weaker-than-expected salescomponent of the business inventories data.