"[I]f experience teaches us anything at all it teaches us this: that a good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. His very existence, indeed, is a standing subversion of the public good in every rational sense. He is not one who serves the common weal; he is simply one who preys upon the commonwealth."
H. L. Mencken, "The Politician" Prejudices: A Selection (4th Series, 1924)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Princess 1: My Dog Princess (re-issue)
(I’m going to make up a story about my dog Princess that I don’t really have. This will serve as proof I have reached the deepest, darkest bowels of Nothing.
Hmmmm..it doesn’t sound so bad when I phrase it like that..)
My dog Princess is a giant poodle that I named Princess. I named him Princess, because I think every poodle should be named Princess, even if the poodle is a giant. If you make fun of Princess, he will eat you. One leg at a time. Starting with yours.
Princess has short, curly white hair and steel teeth. I think he likes sardines, because he always has one in his mouth. I don’t know where he finds the sardines, and I don’t ask. He wouldn’t answer. He would just eat me.
Princess is not known for his patience with small talk.
(Author’s note: In the interest of not having much, this will conclude today’s post. I’ve got to save something for later. Love me!)
See Princess 2!
Hmmmm..it doesn’t sound so bad when I phrase it like that..)
My dog Princess is a giant poodle that I named Princess. I named him Princess, because I think every poodle should be named Princess, even if the poodle is a giant. If you make fun of Princess, he will eat you. One leg at a time. Starting with yours.
Princess has short, curly white hair and steel teeth. I think he likes sardines, because he always has one in his mouth. I don’t know where he finds the sardines, and I don’t ask. He wouldn’t answer. He would just eat me.
Princess is not known for his patience with small talk.
(Author’s note: In the interest of not having much, this will conclude today’s post. I’ve got to save something for later. Love me!)
See Princess 2!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
I’m Bringing “Bringing Back” Back!
Once again, I claim to be back.
I hate that new cliché. “I’m bringing something back.” I think it’s a great idea to bring things back. I just think that if you’re going to bring something back, you should do a little more bringing and a lot less talking. If you have to announce that you’re bringing something back, it is probably because you realize that nobody is interested what you have. You figure that you announce that you’re bringing whatever it is back, that someone will be interested in the fact that you are bringing something back. You know that no one really cares what you are bringing back.
Now, on to my being back.
Back being?
Being back.
I had to come back. A question has been plaguing me for a couple months. Most things that plague me are far too complex for most humans to comprehend, so I must have these discussions with myself…the one person whom I know can figure out the unknown mysterious unknowns that plague me.
“How do you discuss things with yourself, crazy person?” I know that is the question you find yourself asking me. Well, I’ll tell you. I write. I think writing is what keeps me sane. Maybe that’s just my excuse right now for ignoring the phone. Phones make me crazy.
That, dear Readers, is why we celebrate holidays.
I hate that new cliché. “I’m bringing something back.” I think it’s a great idea to bring things back. I just think that if you’re going to bring something back, you should do a little more bringing and a lot less talking. If you have to announce that you’re bringing something back, it is probably because you realize that nobody is interested what you have. You figure that you announce that you’re bringing whatever it is back, that someone will be interested in the fact that you are bringing something back. You know that no one really cares what you are bringing back.
Now, on to my being back.
Back being?
Being back.
I had to come back. A question has been plaguing me for a couple months. Most things that plague me are far too complex for most humans to comprehend, so I must have these discussions with myself…the one person whom I know can figure out the unknown mysterious unknowns that plague me.
“How do you discuss things with yourself, crazy person?” I know that is the question you find yourself asking me. Well, I’ll tell you. I write. I think writing is what keeps me sane. Maybe that’s just my excuse right now for ignoring the phone. Phones make me crazy.
That, dear Readers, is why we celebrate holidays.
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