Review of This Year’s Views and Reviews Throughout the Year Today

I just realized that this blog exactly, to the day, a little over a year old. It was on August 17, 2005 that I posted my first post, Welcome to Hell. So here for you, dear reader of I’ve Come to Save the World from Me, is my official Review of This Year’s Views and Reviews Throughout the Year Today. A sort of year in review, if you will. And I think you will.

Over the past year, I’ve warned of the impending housing market bust and offered you financial advice. “I read the news today, oh boy.”

I’ve offered the occasional political discourse. “Why is Everyone Afraid of Turning Gay” earned me a few links!

I wrote of urinals many times. Check them out! (The posts, not the urinals.) I’ll be glad you did. So will you. We both will. So will I.

I answered tough question from my readers. Remember that The Doctor IS in. The Doctor is always in. Wait. I’ll be right back. Just kidding. I’m still in. Where am I

I’ve posted lyrics to several songs that you can listen to just like me! If you didn’t listen, then go back and listen. It will make you a better person, and make the world a better place.

My latest craze is my children’s’ story about a boy and his dog.

Overall, it’s been a year. I year of months and days. I’d like to thank you all for knowing how to read, and for using that skill on my blog writing. I promise you that someday I will learn to write.

Love me.

By the time you read this, I will be dead.

Just kidding.

Love you.

Tattoo

Tattoo
(Shayne Seymour, © 2003)
Hear the MP3 at shayneseymour.com

Every tear that I see falling from your eyes
Is another world falling on my shoulders.
I really tried to give some comfort to your life,
But it feels like I've only made it colder.

I'll tattoo myself with tears
just to try to feel your pain.
I'll tattoo myself with tears
I never wanted this to fade.

I hope that you and me are not wounded
by all the things that I wouldn't say.
I know I'm the dream that summons your wildest fears
and the cross you bear to drive them away.

Princess 6: My Puppies at the Beach

One day, Princess asked me to take him to the beach. He didn’t just come out and say that, because dogs can’t talk you silly skunk face. He communicates with his Giant Princess Puppies Language which I will tell you about another day.

Today, I will tell you about the one day when Princess asked me to take him to the beach. He didn’t just come out and say it; because dogs can’t talk you crazy kangaroo pouch.

I said, “Yes, sweet Master Princess, let’s go the beach today. Please don’t kill me.” We hopped on my skateboard and tore donkey on down to the beach.

Princess was so excited when we got there! He jumped off the skate board, accidentally pooped on a VW bug, and dashed straight for the water. There was beached whale on the beach. Princess snatched up and slung it around like a mail man.

He growled and snarled at some kids. That scared them and sent them running, so I scored their boogie board! He can be so cute sometimes when he’s being a very playful puppies. We had SO much fun at the beach.

It was kinda gross picking all the sea weed and plankton out of Princess’ short, curly white hair and picking whale and boogie boards out of his steel teeth at Denny’s.

It was worth it though, because Princess still loves me like his very own human!

Congratulations!

I am my 1,000th visitor!!

Princess 5: Four Days in the Belly of a Puppies

One day, I finally asked Princess where he got the sardines. Without a word, he snarled his steel, Princess teeth, opened his mouth and swallowed me. Before I could say, “Hey, my giant poodle named Princess, why are you eating me?” he swallowed with a huge ‘Gulp!”

It was almost completely dark in Princess’ stomach. The only light came from some strange source. I think he swallowed a lot digital watches when he was a puppy. Luckily, I always carry a flashlight behind my ear, so I switched it on to have a look around.

There were sardines and IHOP waitresses everywhere. You gotta hand it to those sardines! I talked to a couple waitresses, ate some sardines and just kinda spent the time catching up on some much needed rest. About the time I started getting comfortable living in the belly of a giant poodle named Princess, I laid down for a nap.

I woke up in the parking lot of a Denny’s. I was waling inside Denny’s to ask someone where I was, when Princess met me at the door. He gave me a look as if to say, “don’t ask.”

I asked, “Where am I?” Without a word, he snarled his steel, Princess teeth, opened his mouth and swallowed me. Before I could say, “Hey, my giant poodle named Princess, why are you eating me?” he swallowed with a huge ‘Gulp!”

Note to self: Stop asking Princess questions.

See Princess 6!

What Can I and You Do to Make this place a Better World?

What can you and I do to make the world a better place?

I’ll be honest with you. You probably don’t know. That’s why nobody does anything. Nobody knows what to do. Most know what not to do, but few work hard at not doing what we’re not supposed to do.

I’m here to help. I’ve Come to Save the World from Not Saving the World.

From now on, if I remember, I’m going to give you very important ways to help make the world a better place to have civilizations and stuff.

What can you do today? For the rest of the day, come back to this blog every day and check to see if I have an assignment for you. In case you need to verify it for your calendar, today is in August.

Remember, the world is a big place, so I may not have a new assignment every day.

See you tomorrow. Unless tomorrow falls on today or sooner. In that case, see you tomorrow.

At the Mercy of My Brain

I’ve got a problem that occurs in the period of time between when I was born and when I will die. It’s a problem I like to call “Shayne’s Brain.” I can’t seem to grasp control of my brain. It makes me do things.

That’s all I know.

I don’t really understand how it works. I asked, and he ain’t talking. Or thinking, as it were. Were it? Really. I need to know. Were it?

So my brain does things or doesn’t do things whether or I want it to or not to. Sometimes it doesn’t do anything whether or don’t want it to or not.

I don’t like cats, and I’ve never even been up in space.

For example, right now, at this moment, I wish to write a blog post about how my brain seems to control me more than I control it. My brain won’t let me.

I don’t like cats. Where is space?

See what I mean? What’s this business about cats and space?

Let’s think about cats for a moment.

Earlier when I was trying to work, my brain kept wanting to write for this blog. I really needed to work. It’s as though I don’t know who we are any more sometimes.

Let’s send cats into space!

Shayne out.

Brain in.

Wait!

Princess 4: My Puppies Princess loves the Mail

Princess loves our mail man. One time Princess met him at the porch. Princess was being all playful friendly, panting, and wagging his tail and his tongue hanging out.

When the mail man reached up to pat Princess on the head, Princess bit the mail man’s left leg off. Then he ran around the yard with it, shaking it around, tossing it into the air and watching it fall to the ground. Then he buried the funny mail man’s left leg in a big hole he dug in the street.

Princess is pretty funny when he plays like that.


See Princess 5!

The Greatest Never Not Ever Never

Once again I find myself unsure of where to go. I need a break from the Children’s story about a dog. I’m getting all Dog ads in Adsense. I don’t really have to time to dig up a song from http://www.shayneseymour.com/ to offer you.

Maybe you should check out the official song of “I’ve Come to Save the World from Me.” It’s a little song I call “I’ve Come to Save the World from Me.”

Did you check out my MySpace page? It’s right here:


Check me out!

What about my blog? You can find it at http://shaynereign.blogspot.com/

I stop now.

Can You Be Fired For Blogging?

Can You Be Fired For Blogging?

Princess 3: When My Dog Princess Was a Puppies.

When my favorite giant, IHOP waitress-eating poodle was a puppies, he was very funny at us all of the most of the time that day.

I mean, he would just do things all the time that would make you laugh and say, “puppies funny!”

When Princess was a few days old, I bought him a computer for his anniversary of being a giant poodle for a few days. He signed on and hacked the IHOP website. I thought it was sort of a weird thing for him to do, but we just wrote it off as being a cute, little puppies. I began to think he was curious about pancakes, but now I know the truth…the cute, little, giant dickens…

See Princess 4!

MySpace?

What will this do?



Check me out!

No. 2?

I was watching CNN at lunch. They were doing the story on Ayman al-Zawahri threatening the Western Nations.

The sound was down, but I reckon they were discussing al-Zawahri’s apparent aging. The subtitle read:

Bin Laden’s No. 2 is grayer than in years past.

Do they know that much about his No. 2? You’d think they could follow THAT kind of trail and find him!

I don’t think they know what I think there were talking about.

On Hope.

Isn't it great to have something to look forward to sleeping through!

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Princess 2: The Birth if My Dog Princess

When Princess was born, he was a dog.

I like to call very new dogs “puppies.”

Princess was a very cute puppies for a giant poodle. He was very funny at us. He would roll around playing “Alive.” He would run in circles chasing his tail and eat IHOP waitresses. I guess if he had been human, we might have called Princess a cannibal. He was a puppies though, so it wasn’t gross or weird that he ate IHOP waitresses.

Back to his birth though. He was very gross. He came out and said “Hi, folks!” Then he ran out the door, peed on the mailbox and ate some trash bins.

I’ve never witnessed another giant poodle birth that was anything like when Princess was puppies born.

See Princess 3!