Stupid Reviews

by request......exerpts from a novel I started writing a few years ago...

We have to write our own reviews at work. It’s this big spreadsheet formatted so that there is not room where you need it. It’s completely generic and has nothing to do with my job. There are slight changes every year. Some of them looked familiar though, so I checked back to the review of two years ago. They are identical, so I look back again. My employer rotates the same two every two years. We're all too dumb to notice, because we only do reviews once a year and we're generally busier than a one-armed octopus at broomstick convention.

It is not always easy being the smartest.

What next? Will we have to bitch at ourselves for being late?

A recession is approaching. Times are getting tough. We’re going to have to cut some expenses. I’m afraid I’m going to have to let me go. I’m very impressed with my review though. I’m a very valued employee who is just an unfortunate victim of rough economic times, so I am going to offer me a very generous severance package.

What’s that? I don’t accept it?

Fine then. Go to hell, Mr. Soupkitchen!!