I've Come to Save the Annoying Friendship

How do I tell my annoying friend he's always wrong and does NOT have all the answers?

With love,

loving blanca

The next question is from a person(?) named blanca from who resides in beautiful Earth, The Universe.

Sco—I mean blanca, this is what you should do. You sit down with your annoying friend. Not too close though, you homo. It is important that you make sure you both have a beer, unless he doesn’t drink. In that case, you’ll have to have both beers.

Then you say this (and say this word for word):

“Shayne, I love you. You know the Earth and other worlds like no other human super. However, there is something I have to tell you. I hate you. You don’t know Ess ach eye double hockey sticks—I mean tea. When I said I love you just a moment ago, I was trying to make you laugh so that you won’t cry when you discover you are a moron. And annoying. And pretty ugly. But other than that, you can’t drive or sing. Just kidding. I love you.”

Try that, dear anonymous reader not named Frankie, Carl or Melissa. If that doesn’t work, try not being around when you friend isn’t looking. Or when he is looking. Either way you’ll get the job done.

Have you been to Seattle? I like it.