The Great Urinal Crisis of 2005

One of the Men’s rooms where I work has four urinals. The third urinal from the left (second from the right for you Euros) is some sort of kid’s urinal or something. It is really low and doesn’t have the wall things on the side, so as with a narrow ledge on a high mountain wall, there is too much exposure. Thus, no one wants to use it. We’re pretty much stuck with urinals 1, 2 and 4.

As you may or may not know, men are not allowed to use urinals next to one another. Only every other urinal may be occupied. If you enter the men’s room and urinal 1 is in use, you go to 3 or 4. If you enter the men’s room and 1 and 3—or 2 and 4—are occupied, you have use a stall or find another men’s room. I don’t know anyone else has thought this through, but this means that half the world’s urinals remain unused. And we thought global warming was a problem.

I don’t know why that is how it is. That is just how it is.

In the particular men’s room, urinal 4 (urinal 1 if you’re a Democrat) is out of order. At least I think it’s out of order. It is wrapped in clear plastic. I’m not gonna try it. That leaves us with urinals 1 through 3 that work, and as we discussed above, every fears the mini urinal.

So in that men’s room, we’ve really only got one usable urinal. I’d say that’s around 25% efficiency. Think they’d let me get away with 25%? They’d can my a**. No pun intended.

There you have the Great Urinal Crisis.

Pea free, world!